The first streaks of dawn altering the night sky Yet the same glorious sensation Beneath the weight of his body I found I could not move And with one urgent thrust he entered me Then it was over. I closed my eyes and thought with a smile that rape had occurred, not lovemaking. Release my arms, please. There’s no need. Am I cold? A foolish question. My life is cold. For me, it’s always like that: The slow unclasping of a fist, you displayed a convincing ignorance to my satiated eyes. Would there never be an end to it, to the almost penal servitude which his memory demands of me? My all patterned in damask and floral design inside doesn’t feel able to find relief I ease down into the elegant brass hipbath Weary at dusk No answer, I reach for the sponge Relaxing in the tub This life suits me very well Allows me to fight off the loneliness On thinking of the past My heart seems to sit like a stone in my breast.